Sabbath Songs: Firm in the Faith

Firm in the faith
Anchored in truth
Solid in all that I do
No turning away
No shadow of doubt
No storm has the power
To drag me down
I'm a witness in these latter days
And I'm standing firm in the faith.
-Jenny Phillips and Tyler Castleton, Firm in the Faith

If you have read my blog for any amount of time you'll know that I am a dyed in the wool; true blue, through and through Mormon. 'Mormon' is a nickname for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints because of our belief in The Book of Mormon, a companion volume of scripture to The Bible.

{Editor's Note: I have pondered long and hard about how and if I should tell this next little bit about myself because it involves not only my personal beliefs, but the actions and choices of another person, whose story is his own and perhaps I haven't a right to tell. But our two stories are intertwined and it is part of what makes me who I am. I want to tell the part of the story that is mine. I hope I can give a fair representation of my perspecitve while respecting the privacy of my other half.}

Mr. Bug and I were both born and raised as members of the LDS faith. We were married in a religious ceremony and attended church regularly for the first few years of our marriage. About the time that I became pregnant with Grasshopper, Mr. Bug's church attendance began to decline and over the 18 months after Grasshopper was born, it became non-existent. During this time I struggled with myself; with the choice Mr. Bug had made and whether or not I should continue attending church alone. It was tough for me, something I had never expected. I was really uncertain of how I should proceed until one Sunday that the three of us went to McDonald's for dinner {Editor's Note: members of the Church are strongly encouraged to make Sunday a special day, different from the rest by not shopping, eating out, working or participating in activities that cause others to work; in short a day to rest from all labors and remember God, so this infraction was a pretty big revelation for me of how things were and where I was headed.}. I came to the conclusion that no matter how hard it was, I needed to do what I knew in my heart was right.

It's been a hard line to walk, trying to balance respect for Mr. Bug's choice {though sometimes I don't respect it very much} with my desire to continue to attend church {and everything else that goes with it}. When the Little Bugs were really little, it felt like Sacrament Meeting {LDS-speak for a congregational worship service} was a three-ring circus with me as ringmaster and my Little Bugs as the main attraction {it still feels that way sometimes}. And it is hard to explain to the Little Bugs why they have to go to church instead of staying home with dad {they don't get a choice about whether or not they'll take a bath either; when you're a kid sometimes that's just the way it is -- you have to do what your parents tell you}. I very often feel pulled in two different directions. Sometimes I wonder if it really is worth all the effort. But there are moments when I know that no matter how hard it is, I'm doing what is right for me and my Little Bugs.

A couple of weeks ago the Young Women {LDS-speak for girls ages 12 to 18} sang this beautiful song, Firm in the Faith by Jenny Phillips and Tyler Castleton in Sacrament Meeting. It was their theme for Girl's Camp this summer. The words touched my heart and strengthened my resolved to keep on doing what I know I should. It was one of those moments when I just knew.

I hope you'll take just a minute to listen to it. It is beautiful.