Wardrobe Wednesday: Swimwear

Women shop for a bikini with more care than they do for a husband. The rules are the same. Look for something you will feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.
–Erma Bombeck

Finding a swimming suit is always a challenge, even when there are lots of options on the rack. The pickings are pretty slim at this point and finding a suit that fits well, is flattering {or at least doesn't accentuate any negative aspects}, offers decent support and coverage and is cute requires serious shopping time. That's a lot for a bit of synthetic fabric and elastic to live up to.

If I wanted good options, I probably should have bought in February. But who needs a swimming suit in February? Besides, I love a challenge and clearance-rack shopping is the way I like to roll. After an exhaustive, week-long search, I finally handed over my plastic. For a granny suit. It wasn't the first granny suit I tried on and it wasn't my first choice. But I felt like I was running out of options.

Of course, they got a 12 year-old to model my granny suit {probably so I would feel more youthful when I went on-line to find the suit because there is no chance that I will pose for a photo while wearing a swimming suit and then post it on the internet for your enjoyment. Ever.}. Pre-teen model not withstanding, it is a granny suit.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of swimdresses {except the ones that are swimdresses in the front and granny-panties cut in the back. I'm mean, seriously. What's the point? I'm pretty sure if you need a swimdress in the front, you need one in the back too.}. I bought my first swimdress when I was 22. And when someone clever invented the "skirtini," I started buying those. I've never been comfortable exposing my upper thighs and bottom and I like the feminie touch a skirt adds to swimwear. I'm kind of back to swimdresses though. Despite the mix-and-match options and ease a "skirtini" provides in using the restroom while wearing a soaking wet, skin-tight piece of spandex, I prefer a swimdress these days. They kind of smooth out all the extra lumps and bumps in my mid-section. Or at least don't make any new ones.

I really like the cut of this suit. The empire waist works with my hour-and-a-half glass {or hourglass with most of the sand in the bottom} shape, it's got good support, great coverage and it fits. What I don't love about this suit is that it is black. Black isn't bad, and the print is actually a lot cuter in person than it is in the photo. But I've been wearing black suits for like the last 12 years. And I'm ready for a little color in my swimwear.

In the last week, I've been to six different stores, trying on about anything in my size. Most of the stores didn't have much, but I've spent way more time than I would have liked inside a dressing room after having scouring the racks for too long for something that might work. The store I went to today still had lots of suits left and I thought for sure I could find something that met all the criteria of a good piece of swimwear, including the aforementioned color requirement. I spent a good 30 minutes pulling brightly printed swim separates off the racks. Then I spent a full hour in the dressing room trying to make any of the dozen colorful tops work with either a navy or black skirt. I found one top I really loved. It was printed with pretty blues and greens and met the support, coverage and fit requirements. But the skirt wasn't working and I couldn't find a different style/size. I'd brought the granny suit, just in case and in two sizes because I liked it on the rack and wanted to make sure I didn't have to get dressed and make another trip to the racks {bathing suits have little numbers on them, but I'm not sure if they all mean the same thing}. As soon as I pulled the suit on, I knew it looked the best of anything I'd tried on, despite the blasé nature of the print/color. But just to be absolutely certain, I tried it on a total of six times, three times in each size, to make sure the size I went with looked the best.

What I find the most frustrating about the whole experience is that the suit comes in two other prints on-line. Colored prints. Mr. Bug says that the blue one looks the most granny. I kind of like the pink one. But it is hard to guess what they'll look like in person; whether they'll be horrible or super amazing. And I'm too cheap to pay for shipping on something just so I can see what it looks like, especially since there's a huge possibility I'll have to return it. I guess I'm going with the black suit. Again. Mr. Bug says it suits me. {Yes. That was a pun .}

Dear Swimming Suit Manufacturers: Women who wear swimdresses are tired of black. We like the pretty prints you use in your other suits. We'd be okay with it if you went a little wild next year.

Dear Swimming Suit Stores: Please carry swimdresses with pretty prints in your stores and not just on-line, even if the manufacturers don't get the above memo and only make swimdresses in a few prints. Color is good.

P.S. to the Swimming Suit Manufacturers: I have a very non-girly pre-teen who would love it if you made swimming suits in non-girly colors like green or blue and left the ruffles and princesses off. Also, could you put more boy/board short bottoms with the tankinis? Thanks.