Saturday, February 19, 2011

Along Came A Spider

The spider's touch, how exquisitely fine!
Feels at each thread, and lives along the line.

–Alexander Pope

There I was, casually catching up on blogs, when I felt a little pin-prick on the knuckle of my right hand. My view of the area was obstructed by some overhanging papers and I couldn't see any cause for it, so I assumed that it was a mis-fire, a phantom pain.
{Crime Scene Recreation}
I massaged the knuckle absently while I read Laundry Hurts My Feelings. When I moved on to That Man Quilts?, I noticed that the pin-prick still stung and my knuckle felt a little bit tingly, almost anesthetized. So I took a closer look. There was a round, white welt where I'd felt the pin-prick and the skin around it was blotchy and red. So I started searching for the cause. I saw a hint of movement in my shuffle of papers, but the source eluded me. So I moved on to reading what AmyLouWho is up to today. It was then that I caught another whisper of movement amongst the clutter on my desk. This time there was no escape. You see, I have a hard-and-fast rule about spiders. When I'm in their house {outside} I let them be {unless it is a Black Widow, in which case the policy is, I do not deal with terrorists, and there is an immediate, terror-filled squishing}.

But a spider in my house is a different story. And this one made a very foolish mistake. He could have easily lived out his life without notice, concealed in the mess on my desk. But he drew unnecessary attention to himself and sealed his doom. Because when a spider comes into my house, the squishing is inevitable.

I must admit, that at first I was a little panicked about a spider bite. I hear that awful things happen if it is a Hobo Spider {also called Aggressive House Spiders}. I wondered what provoked this tiny white spider {presumably a baby} to bite me? I wasn't all up in his grill. I was minding my own business. That sounds like a pretty aggressive spider to me. But it is five hours later and I'm fine. Then again, symptoms of a Hobo Spider bite don't become serious for 24 hours. I should start feeling sick about the time Primary starts tomorrow.

In the interim, however, I have pondered the point of spiders. Why are there spiders? To keep the insect population in check, right? But their bad reputation precedes them. They are so skittery and I'm always afraid that one is going to jump on my hand as I try to squish it and it will have been a very poisonous spider and the bite will lead to my slow, agonizing death. None of the spiders around here are really that deadly. They'll just make you pretty sick. But when you hear about spiders in other parts of the world that can kill you with a glance, you tend to overreact. It helps to put things in perspective when I compared my close encounter of the minute size to recent run-ins Marg had with spiders of gigantic proportion. I think I'd pack up shop and move somewhere less dangerous. Because big or small, spiders are intimidating {to say the least} to nearly everyone. So if their sole purpose is to keep the insect population under control, then perhaps if there were no insects, then there would be no need for spiders. There. I've solved the problem in a matter of minutes. You're welcome, world. Now let's get on it.

11 comments:

JazznJenna said...

Little tiny spiders biting humans in their own house just seems rude.

Marg said...

I must say i had a chuckle at the size of your spider. I agree totally with you, if a spider is silly enough to come into my house it's asking to be squished. Umm except for that ginormous one, can you imagine the mess if I squished that! An update on the last one, he came back, I used the rest of the can of fly spray on him and then when he fell on the floor i whacked him, not too hard) with the back of a dustpan and brush, pan, scooped him up and flushed him down the toilet. i just hope he doesn't find his way back.

Iris said...

I had a spider scare in October. Got bit at midnight on the cheek while warming up some water in the microwave in the dark kitchen. Felt webby kinda tickle and brushed it away, then when I went back to bed that spot started burning. Sure enough big bump. I had a panic attack and couldn't sleep for 3 hours, even went looking online about spider bites.....in the end I went to urgent care because at that time I had all sorts of symptoms that may or may not have been related to the bite. I was itching all over for 3 days, fatigued, and had several dizzy spells. They gave me some pill for the itchy and ran all sorts of tests. Nothing was conclusive on anything.

I love how you "don't deal with terrorists". :) I've found black widows in the garage, shed, kids outdoor toys, in the bathroom several times. My last straw was when I when I went out to side yard to do something in the dark, I knelt down with the flashlight and in the beam of light saw 5 black widows hanging out within a 3 ft space of wall, and opened the shed and there was one more. Gave me the heebee geebees seeing so many right outside where my girls' bedrooms and bathroom are. Now Orkin comes and sprays every two months!!!

Nicole said...

Ouch. I try to overlook spiders, but not when they creep into our house. No way.

P. said...

I'm glad you're okay so far. I clicked on the spider pic hoping it would enlarge to a really big size so I could see all the squicky spider details. I must be weird.

Rhonda said...

acccccccccck! all spiders need squished immediately!
hope your bite isn't too serious.

Ann Marie said...

I have those spider in my house too, and these little jumping spiders. Those are too quick to squish. My husband has been bitten by a black widow before at work. The ER just said to watch for a running red streak up your arm and come back if you see one, if not it will go away in about a month. The next day he had what felt like a marble under his skin where it bit him, and a bruise bigger than a golf ball. It all went away about a month later. Also in Florida where we live, if you ever go hiking, we have banana spiders, they are HUGE!!!!! They will build webs, that cover the entire trail from side to side, and with their legs, can be as big as the palm of your hand. supposedly they don't bite humans, unless really provoked, but I prefer not to find out anytime soon. We go around the webs while hiking, which sometimes can be a lot harder than it sounds, because they will have webs between every tree.

Shay said...

If you're still alive I want to tell you I laughed so hard at this post - the way you wrote it was pure gold.

If you're suffering spider bite-itis - I am very sorry and this post was no laughing matter at all...

I made Mr. P round up all the Huntsmans in our house that have slowly grown to the size of dinner plates after I read this. Best not to take any chances.

I defy you not to imagine Mr. P in cowboy gear with a lasso rounding up spiders, yelling yee haw and cracking a whip...

Angie said...

I. HATE. SPIDERS!! Or any other member of the family! Even crabs wierd me out (they are water spiders after all). I think anything with 8 legs is the devil! I do have a similar policy about spiders (and sharks, sadly). If I come in YOUR house, that's my fault, but if you are in mine...pack it up sister! We have soooooo many spiders here it's redonkulous! The pretty black ones love to hang out in my retaining wall under the raspberry bushes...I pick berrys with gloves on!

Threeundertwo said...

I'm brave about a lot of things, but I really hate spiders. My smarty kids learned in school that we're never more tha 3 feet from a spider - a fact that gives me the heebie jeebies whenever I think of it.

Annelise said...

icky ick. not a fun experience. but i laughed so hard at you not being "all up in his grill." :)