We're Not In Disney Anymore Day 7: Keep Calm and Carry-On

No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse. –Jeffrey R. Holland, The Tongue of Angels, April 2007

Friday, January 24, 2014
Destination: Home, Take Two
Weather Forecast: We don't care about the weather. Just get us home.

4:39 am, EST [2:39 am, MST]: The airline just called. Our flight has been bumped from 8:35 am to 10:00 am. I suppose they thought it would make me less grumpy if they called at 4:29 am to warn me, rather than letting me find out when I got to the airport at 6:30 am. I'm really not sure which would have made me less grumpy.
7:00 am, EST [5:00 am, MST]: Alarm. Too. Grumpy. To. Be. Awake.
7:35 am, EST [5:35 am, MST]: We're catching a shuttle to the airport. I'm still grumpy.
7:55 am, EST [5:55 am, MST]: We just checked in for our flight home. Again.
8:08 am, EST [6:08 am, MST]: We're all over the map for breakfast this morning. Grasshopper is very fond of the Egg McMuffin with hash browns and orange Juice. Mr. Bug just wants juice and LadyBug wants doughnuts. I want something without dairy, so I'm getting Panda Express — String Bean Chicken and Chow Mein.
8:26 am, EST [6:26 am, MST]: People with food in their stomachs are much more pleasant.
9:03 am, EST [7:03 am, MST]: We made it through the TSA Security Check again, and hopefully for the last time for a good long while. Boarding starts at 9:30. I'm so glad to be heading home.
9:22 am, EST [7:22 am, MST]: Wait. What's this? The flight has been bumped back to noon. All of my toiletries are in my checked bag, which is who knows where, and I'm wearing the same clothes and undies as yesterday. But at least I still have my carry-on, which has a few small items that will keep me entertained.
9:47 am, EST [7:47 am, MST]: . . . waiting . . .
10:33 am, EST [8:33 am, MST]: . . . still waiting . . .
11:00 am, EST [9:00 am, MST]: The airline employee just announced that we are probably going to depart at noon and they will make further announcements. We surmised as much from the display board.
11:16 am, EST [9:16 am, MST]: . . . and more waiting . . .
11:50 am, EST [9:50 am, MST]: The airline employee just announced that maintenance has asked for a few more minutes and to please be patient while they finish up. I'm beginning to wonder if this is the same plane as last night.
12:09 pm, EST [10:09 am, MST]: The airline employee announced that they are doing a taxi test and if everything is OK, we can begin boarding. Now it is hurry-up-and-wait.
Disembodied Voice on the overhead speaker: The local time is 12:30 pm. I don't think that is helping.
12:39 pm, EST [10:39 am, MST]: LadyBug and I have decided to get something to eat from Burger King. Mr. Bug and Grasshopper declined, but they'll be sorry when we get back with our food.
12:52 pm, EST [10:52 am, MST]: I was right. Grasshopper wants pizza. I told Mr. Bug that they probably have plenty of time to go get something.
1:17 pm, EST [11:17 am, MST]: I was right again. We've all eaten, thrown out our trash, been to the restroom, washed our hands, checked to make sure we had our luggage and finally they are starting to board.
1:31 pm, EST [11:31 pm, MST]: We are on board, ready for take-off. We hope. Apparently, a light was out on the dash and legally the plane couldn't take off without it. It was a tricky thing to fix — the light that is; there's absolutely nothing wrong with the plane — but it's all good and we're on our way.
3:58 pm, CST [2:58 pm, MST]: Touch-down in Dallas Ft/Worth; we were re-routed slightly mid-flight. That, combined with the huge delay in leaving, caused us to miss our rescheduled, rescheduled, rescheduled connecting flight. It left 30 minutes ago. Once again, I'm a little annoyed.
4:04 pm, CST [3:04 pm, MST]: We're waiting to get up to the gate — there is a fire truck with flashing lights parked where we need to park. How many things can go wrong in one 24-hour period?
4:23 pm, CST [3:23 pm, MST]: They found us a new gate. As we came out, we asked the airline employee at the podium for help in changing our connecting flight. She told us we'd have to go two gates down for that because they needed to start boarding the next flight. I have a lot of not very nice things to say about that.
4:33 pm, CST [3:33 pm, MST]: We found our way two gates down. Our next flight is at 6:40 pm. Yeeehaw. More waiting. I can't wait!
4:34 pm, CST [4:34 pm, MST]: Mr. Bug just told me he must be at his limit for all of this because he nearly bit the head off the woman who declined to help us. That is saying a lot. Mr. Bug is probably the most patient person I know. I'm amused with the prospect and frankly, would have liked to see that.
5:33 pm, CST [4:33 pm, MST]: I've pretty much had it for the day too. I managed to get another food voucher from the less than sympathetic and completely unhelpful airline employees. We're waiting for our order now.
6:13 pm, CST [5:13 pm, MST]: We are now boarding. We're all crossing our fingers for no more mechanical malfunctions today.
8:00 pm, MST Touchdown in good old Salt Lake City. Let there be no further difficulty in finding our checked bag and let us get home quickly.
8:36 pm, MST Bag acquired, shuttle to parking boarded. Let's not jinx this, but we might make it home before 10:00 pm.
10:27 pm, MST We made it with nothing eventful to report. I'll be so glad to sleep in my own bed tonight. I just opened the suitcase and something exploded in one of the toiletry bags. From the smell of it, I'd say conditioner. I'm not even going to think about it until tomorrow. I've had enough adventures for one day.